This new year while making your ‘New Year’s Resolutions,’ decide to do something different. Instead of heading into 2020 with a new diet in hand, resolve to change things on a deeper level. Welcome vulnerability—and it’s counterpart, strength—into your life this new year.
At Second Breakfast Nutrition we learn as much from our colleagues as we do from our clients. Being a part of your healing experience is a true honor, and it is what keeps us going in the darker moments—the less uplifting, more get-dirty-and-dig-deep moments. For this blog post, and to usher in the New Year, we would like to honor our client’s wisdom by sharing something that one of our very own clients wrote in regards to recovery and the New Year.
I hope that their message of hope, vulnerability, and strength is as moving to you as it was to myself and my colleagues.
In this season of gratitude, endings, and beginnings, I want to share a story — six months ago my body was screaming at me, physically and mentally. I was anxious, irritable, my hair was thin, I wasn’t sleeping, I couldn’t tolerate the cold, and my body just simply wasn’t functioning like a woman’s should. Six months ago I was fed up with myself. Six months ago I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. I sat in an office as a professional told me that she didn’t care that I had a “normal” BMI and that I just “preferred healthy food” — my body was shutting down & I was in survival mode. I genuinely thought that she was being dramatic and that my situation was different. I was sad, mad and confused. I was in a horribly HANGRY denial. And I was so, so scared. What if she actually was right?
Six months ago I walked up and down the beach listening to “The F*ck it Diet” and I realized…
She was right. And she still is. And so is the rest of my incredible support team. I really have always LOVED food and healthy cooking — but as it turns out I also love french fries, chicken salad, caesar salad, pizza, nachos, & oh man, I LOVE REAL ICE CREAM!!! I still really hate cold cheese though 🙂
I’m sharing this because as lonely and isolated that I have felt at certain times, I simply KNOW that I am not alone. While this vulnerability is scary, I really am passionate about this. I want to normalize and humanize the experience of an eating disorder and to literally SCREAM from the rooftops that your worth is not your weight, your diet, your size, your workout routine, your outer beauty or your self-control. And trust me, believing that simply doesn’t come naturally to me. But this is a journey (and it always will be) — to food love, body love, and most importantly, self-compassion. I hope that I can be an example or a resource for those struggling with any kind of disordered eating, or those who love someone who is struggling. Because the struggle is REAL. Eating disorders do not discriminate. Especially in today’s culture, fat phobia and weight stigma are so, so real. So lets break the shame cycle. Lets love ourselves & love one another, not just this holiday season but in to the next DECADE! We are ALL worthy and beautiful on the inside. Our bodies are living, breathing miracles. And food is a delicious privilege.
There are many days that I ride the high of food freedom and body love, but I want to be clear that I still have bad days and this long road to recovery is not easy. I hear you. I see you. I am you.
Happy New Year!